


MoldyWarts

by Gxner



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Did I mention I'm also bad at titles?, Everyone Is Gay, Except Ron, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hogwarts Eighth Year, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'll update everything once more chapters are up okay, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm also bad at summeries, Multi, Not Epilogue Compliant, Oblivious Harry, Ron's straight fight me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:27:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23721589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gxner/pseuds/Gxner
Summary: Harry and Draco are bickering during 8th year when Harry pushes Draco against the wall, says “wanna say that again, pretty boy?” and they’re both glaring at each other until they hear Ron say“Did you just call Malfoy pretty?”
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	1. My best mate and I get dumped

**Author's Note:**

> DrArY  
> Basically this is inspired from a bunch of text posts, so you can expect a bit of humour. I'll be crediting the op as I go. 
> 
> This also happens to be my first fanfic, so yeah, don't set your standards too high!  
> All comments and corrections are appreciated!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 1338  
> Comments, tips, corrections, and construct-ism criticism are all highly valued and appreciated!

A knock sounded from my dorm's door, making me immediately snapp my head around to eye the door suspiciously. No one ever knocked, and all my dormates had already gone off to the great hall for super. I silently put down my quill and made sure to hold my wand ready. I then stood up, gripping my wand a little tighter, and approached the door.  
“Come in!” I called, my voice only a few octaves higher than usual. The door creaked open, revealing the face of a girl with fiery red hair.  
“Ginny,” I said, unable to hide the relief that filled my voice. She offered me a timid smile, one that looked strange on her usually confident face. Not that she was not still the most gorgeous girl in the school or anything, it’s just being timid wasn’t her style. Which led me to wonder if something was wrong, she never knocked either, heck, it was quite the opposite. She usually barged in as though this was her dorm, which in a way, it had become. Her face was still paler than normal, and even her lips had lost their rosy colour. She too was still fighting battles in her head. The war had left a toll on everyone.  
“Harry,” she laughed, “You’re overthinking again,” Her voice was slightly softer than usual, he remarked “And put that wand down, would ya? I’m no death eater!” Oops, I hadn’t realized I still had my wand pointed straight at her. I smiled, lowered my wand, and headed towards her with the intention of kissing her.  
“Hey,”  
“Hey yourself,” she said, walking towards my bed before I could reach her. “ I need to talk to you.” Taking a seat beside her, I couldn’t help but notice the way her hands were toying with the dozen wristbands she wore, something she usually did when nervous. She let herself flop onto the bed and sigh loudly, I decided it was best to stay silent, Ginny didn’t appreciate being prompted too much.  
“We need to break up,” she finally stated, her voice clear. Ouch. In that instant, I would have much prefered to face another death eater, heck, even Voldemort would feel better than this.  
“I- I’m sorry Harry, really, but ever since we’ve been back at Hogwarts and you no longer face imminent death, I’ve just been -” She stopped to let out a forced laugh - “I no longer feel the same way about us.”  
I stared at her, staying silent. I had noticed her growing more and more distant, often making excuses to avoid being alone with me avoiding any intimate contact, I couldn’t even remember the last time she was the one to initiate a kiss.  
“Harry, gosh I’m sorry, I do still love you to death just not in the same way. We will still be friends. We’ll always be friends. I just can’t imagine a future with you. We can’t keep dating anymore,” she was speaking fast, her tone shifting between remorse, bitterness, and even anger. I kept my eyes on hers.  
“Say something for Merlin's sake!” she finally snapped, throwing her hands up in exasperation. I offered her a small nod and my best smile. I desperately wanted to take her hand, possibly kiss her, anything to forget the words she had just spoken. Instead, I kept my eyes firmly on hers, not ever wanting to let her pretty face leave me.  
“Harry, please,” she whispered.  
“As long as you don’t quit quidditch!” I tried to laugh, but it came out sounding dry and forced. She gave me a sad smile, and forced a laugh too.  
“I’d have to be dead to allow Slytherin a chance at the cup.” With that she stood up and left the room, leaving me alone on my bed, filled with thoughts I had no desire to have.  
~ ~ ~  
The next few weeks passed surprisingly smoothly. Ginny did seem a lot happier, I reluctantly admitted to myself. She had regained colour in her cheeks, and no longer had an almost sickly complexion. Something that hadn’t happened since the war began. She also laughed more, and her actions became more open and expressive, it was as though she was slowly returning to her old self.  
Hermione assured me over and over again that it had never been my fault Ginny was not doing well. She said I was not to blame for Ginny’s mental health and I should stop worrying about it. Ginny was doing better because she was learning to heal the wounds the war had caused her, not because she was no longer with me. In the end, I allowed Hermione’s words to wash over me, letting myself believe it really wasn’t my fault, that I hadn’t been an awful boyfriend.  
The news of my last breakup traveled quickly, but no one gave it too much thought, well, no one expected Malfoy. He, just like the majority of us, had changed due to the war. I guess being locked up in a house with Voldemort for so long was sure to leave it’s mark. He stopped seizing every opportunity to insult me, and on the rare occasions he did, his insults had gotten much softer. It was as though he was only insulting me because he felt like he had to, not because he wanted to. He no longer used slurs when addressing Hermione and hadn't mentioned the Weasley’s wealth - or lack of - in quite a while. Even his hatred for me had changed, it had morphed more into annoyance. But the news of me and Ginny’s breakup seem to spark some of his old habits.  
“Did your precious ginger get tired of hearing you recount your exploits Potter?” He jeered as I walked towards Care of Magical creatures. Since Hermione and Ron had not yet arrived, I was alone to witness Malfoy reenacting what was supposed to be me laying dead in Hagrid's arms. Goyle laughed with him, but he was the only one. The Slytherins seemed to have lost their hatred for ‘The Boy Who Lived’ as well as for Gryffindors. In fact, many of them had even befriended us.  
I rolled my eyes, and walked on, wishing Hermione and Ron would show up, they were usually never late. Malfoy stopped his acting to catch up to me, “Oy Scarhead, who are you running away from?”  
I turned towards his in amusement “ Scarhead? That’s the best you’ve got? Even a first year could come up with a better insult” I scoffed. To my suprise, he didn’t retort, instead, his usually pale cheeks reddened. The air around us seemed to get heavier as we both walked towards Hagrid’s hut together. I tried not to wander why he was still by my side and not with Goyle. It seemed like an eternity passed before finally, he muttered a vague remark about the resemblance of my hair and a hedgehog before joining the Slytherins. I laughed to myself, wandering why his insults were starting to look more like compliments.  
Class had already started when I finally spotted Hermione’s bushy hair approaching. She formally apologized to Hagrid, who waved her off and assured her she was in no trouble at all, before coming towards me.  
“You okay?” I whispered to her, for not only was she late for class but had also forgotten her textbook, something Hermione never did.  
“Ron and I just broke up.” I snapped my head at her, not expecting this at all.  
“Ah.” I said eloquently, “Sorry.” To my surprise, she smiled, explaining she had been the one to end things between them. The end of the war had made her realize she’d rather maintain a platonic relationship than a romantic one. I tried not to focus on how similar her reasoning had been to Ginny’s.  
“How did Ron take it?” I inquired.  
“Ron said if I ever got back with Micheal Corner, he would personally make sure to send him flowers, once Ron sent him to the hospital wing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, tips, corrections, and construct-ism criticism are all highly valued and appreciated!
> 
> Also, your daily reminder (if you haven't already) to drink water, eat something, get some fresh air, and go to bed if it's past 11pm!  
> Love y'all, take care of yourself!


	2. Visit from a Slytherin who  ̶ ̶s̶a̶d̶l̶y̶  doesn't have platinum blond hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MoldyWart is inspired from a text post by kintatsuj  
> Word count: 1541

As the days passed, the tension between Ron and Hermione eased, until it felt like we were back to normal, whatever that meant. My definition of normal had changed over the years. I used to think it meant being constantly at risk of being killed by the darkest - and baldest - wizard of all times. When I told this to Ron, he laughed and said we’d had the least normal childhood ever.  
“Hey Harry,” Hermione said in a drowsy voice, which was understandable as Ron and I had been playing chess in the common room for over 2 hours, “Do you think people are going to start saying Voldermort’s name now?” I looked at her, raised an eyebrow and shrugged. I didn’t see how Voldemort had anything to do with the debate Ron and I were having about which of Bertie Botts Every Flavoured beans tasted the worst.  
“I for one, know that the third years are never going to be saying his real name out loud.” Ron said, with a spark in his eye.  
“And why is that?” I questioned.  
“Well, let’s just say that when George came over to advertise his joke shop, they overheard one of his old adverts for his ‘constipation sensation’, you know the one that said “WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHO? YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT U-NO-POO —” Despite myself, I grinned, no matter how dark times had gotten George - and Fred - had always managed to make us smile.  
“Well now, the third years have set out to find even better names for him. So far, Dennis has found the best one yet, being SlimyClown Wannabe.” Although it did not make much sense, we all burst out laughing.  
“I’d say BaldyLocks suits him pretty well,” I suggest.  
“Oh please, that’s really not original,” scoffs Hermione, “Noseless Grandpa sounds loads better!”  
“Or ToadyBloat,”offers Ron. We don’t end up agreeing on who’s name sounded better, instead, we collapsed in fits of laughter. I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard since third year, when Malfoy got turned into a ferret.  
“How about MoldyWart?” a voice behind us offers. I turn around, surprised to see a dark haired Slytherin approaching us.  
“What are you doing here Parkinson?” snarls Ron.  
“Well I’m certainly not here for you,” snaps Parkinson, “or for the decoration, red and mustard looks awful together,” she adds in disgust.  
“It’s gold you- ”  
“I invented her!” interrupts Hermione, now suddenly wide awake, but not before Ron lets out a trail of cuss words that would challenge even Sirius’ vocabulary. I gawk at Hermione a bit, sure it wasn’t uncommon nowadays for Slytherin to be in our common room, but Parkinson was another case. And why Hermione would willingly invite her in was not something I could wrap his mind around.  
Parkinson shoots Ron another glare before taking a seat. She crosses her legs, without taking notice of how high her skirt travels up her thigh, or the fact that the couch she sat on is meant for one person only, meaning she is almost seated on top of Hermione, who scoots over to the best of her abilities before warmly greeting the Slytherin girl, who in return offers her a smile before turning back to Ron, who is still glaring at her.  
“I guess MoldyWart is a pretty good name,” conceded Ron after realizing Hermione was still shooting him dirty looks. Parkinson smiled smugly, but made no further comment.  
“So,” I start, though I’m not sure what I’m planning to say. Why is Parkinson even here? Not that I mind, houses are a lot less hostile towards each other nowadays, Slytherins included. Protecting Hogwarts from Voldemort's army had formed a bond none of us could properly explain, but all the 8th years - or at least those who had returned - agreed houses really didn’t matter that much. McGonagal even removed house points, instead, we were divided by grades. I’m sure Dumbledor would have disapproved, but he always had a grudge against Slytherin anyway.  
“So, Pansy why did you choose to return for 8th year?” Hermione asks, breaking the silence.  
“Draco convinced me to join him, he claimed that if I wasn’t there to stop him, he might end up setting the castle on fire,” she shakes her head, “Bold of him to assume I wouldn’t be the one casting the incendio.”  
“So, are you and Malfoy a thing?” said Ron, not too kindly. He still wasn’t looking at Parkinson, who let out a light laugh.  
“Oh Merlin, no!”  
“Did he not accompany you to the Yule Ball?” I inquire, I do remember seeing them dance together, so had always assumed they were together.  
“I mean, that was ages ago! In any case, our relationship has and will always be strictly platonic.” Parkinson said, now giggling slightly. She leaned back into the sofa and put a hand around Hermione, who looked suddenly uneasy.  
“Is Malfoy not your type?” I tried to sound nonchalant, but I could feel Hermione looking at me questionly.  
“Why Potter, you interested in any of us?”  
“Huh? No, of course not! That’s absolutely ridiculous, I would never, I mean why - how - a Malfoy? No!” No one commented on how uncertain I sounded, or how my cheeks were burning. Instead, the conversation turned to NEWTs, which although were still in over 9 months, had started to stress out Hermione. She went on about how important they were and why we all needed to study for longer periods of time. I stopped listening when she suggested we start creating study schedules, and let my mind wander back to why Parkinson was here. I no longer minded her presence, in fact she wasn’t half as bad as I thought. She still spoke to Ron and I with a hint of spite, but was not exactly rude. Hermione was a different case, when they spoke to each other, it sounded like they’d known each other for years. I made a mental note to ask Hermione since when she and Pansy were on speaking terms.  
“So Potter, you bringing anyone to the Slug Club?” Parkinson asked me, referring to the annual dinner Slughorn was holding. We were all invited to bring a partner of our choice.  
“Ugh,” I groaned, “I really don’t feel like reliving sixth year again.”  
“Come on mate, having a bunch of fourth years try to snog wasn’t that bad!” Ron said, a grin on his face.  
“Yeah I mean it’s not like you almost died or anything,” I retort.  
“Common Harry, having a girl brewing you another love potion can’t be a bad thing!” Hermione added.  
“Hermione at the last slug club you ended up hiding from your date!”  
“At least my date didn’t believe in nargles,” She said laughing. I shot them both dark looks, but ended up laughing along with them. Parkinson too was laughing, it felt slightly odd.  
“What about you Parkinson, has any guy managed to reach your unreasonably high standards?” Ron asked between fits of laughter.  
“No guy is ever gonna meet my standards Granger,” She replied, winking at Hermione. Ron and I exchanged confused glances, unsure what she meant.  
“Oh yeah? How come?” replied Hermione, with a small smirk.  
“Yeah, don’t you want kids Parkinson?” asked Ron, which only made Parkinson laugh harder. Although I must concede his question was pretty amusing, the way he phrased his question made it seem as though the only reason one would ever be interested in a man was to get kids. When Parkinson was done laughing, she wore a determined expression and looked Ron dead in the eye before saying:  
“My bloodline dies with me.” Once again, it seemed only Hermione seemed to see what was funny, for she burst once again into laughter while Ron and both exchanged confused glances.  
“She’s saying she’s gay Ronald.” clarified Hermione, still laughing.  
“Oh,” replied Ron awkwardly. I analize his traits attentively, I’d always wondered if Ron was as accepting as Heriome. His family, although extremely kind and open minded, remained a pureblood one. But to my surprise, his face showed neither disapproval, nor disgust. He just looked even more confused.  
“Surprised Weasley? Honestly, I always considered my outfit a dead giveaway.” Said Pansy, sounding even more prideful than the usual. I frowned slightly, Parkinson was wearing fishnet stockings under her slytherin skirt, she had a cuffed, plaid shirt and wore a dark shade of lipstick. Personally, I was unsure how her outfit had anything to do with her sexuality, it was probably a Slytherin thing. Ron, who’s expression was turning more bewildered by the minute, just shrugged. Hermione and Parkinson exchanged knowing glances, but didn’t elaborate. The conversation proceeded, with no further comment about Parkinson’s coming out, which I reluctantly admitted to myself, left me frustrated. I still didn’t know what Ron’s thoughts were about being queer.  
It was late at night when Pansy finally returned to her dorm, and to my suprise, I was quite disappointed when she did leave. Although she remained obnoxious, she was pretty funny, and her snarky comments addressed at Ron quickly became quite entertaining. I even found myself looking forward to her next visit - since Hermione had made Pansy promise to return. Maybe she’d even bring Malfoy along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, your daily reminder (if you haven't already) to drink water, eat something, get some fresh air and go to bed if it's past 11pm!  
> Love y'all, take care of yourself!
> 
> The next chapter should be up this week unless the corona virus suddenly disappears or my mental health shuts!


End file.
